Saturday, August 16, 2008

2 Years Tomorrow


Tomorrow. 2 years. Unreal. Figured I better go ahead and type something now since there is no telling what I will think/feel tomorrow. There really isn't much to say. Nothing that hasn't been said. I love her like crazy. I miss her like crazy. I do go longer in between cries and breakdowns...but not much else has changed. I still have feelings of guilt, of anger, of sadness, of unfairness. So many feelings that never end. I still remember this week 2 years ago. It's the week/day I remember most out of all of them. That makes me sad. I wish I remembered other days as well. It's very hard to believe it's been 2 years since I held her...heard her voice...smelled her...kissed her. So hard to believe. Unfair!!! To her. To us. To Camden who will never meet his big sister. He'll know her - we talk about her all the time - but won't have her here with him. She is part of him though. He is so happy and so content - just like her - I believe it is part of her in him. He makes life better - his smile, his needs and wants. But it doesn't make her not being here any better. I hope she is never forgotten - by anyone that ever met her. She was an Amazing person and it's just not right or fair. I don't think it was her time. I think she had more ahead of her. Although Camden would not be here if she still were...so maybe she was opening the door for him. Who knows...I love you Grace. I always have and I always will. You are my strength and my weakness. My heart and my soul. I love you dearly and you affected me more in your short life than anyone or anything else ever has (and I would be willing to bet ever will). I love you sunshine and miss you so much. I don't think I can say that enough. Love you and Miss you.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

We love you Coggins!

The Schneiders said...

We are thinking of you today & always!

love,
the Schneiders