So lucky!

Why did it take winning a trip to realize how lucky I am? It's so true and I've taken so much of it for granted. Yes, we were lucky to win the trip - very lucky -and had lots of luck on the trip - good timing, good people, good weather, won some prizes...it was great! But I was lucky before that and never really thought I was.

I am so lucky to have a wonderful, loving, close family. Lucky to have a wonderful husband that loves me so much! Lucky to have amazing friends that I know I can always count on, and hope they know they can always count on me. Lucky to have 2 beautiful children - one watching over me and one to watch over. Lucky to have a job I enjoy and a house to live in, plenty of food and lots of stuff I don't need. I am lucky that Grace lived longer than she should have. Lucky to have learned so much from her. Lucky that Camden came into our lives.

I am truly lucky - also known as blessed and I'm just sorry it took winning a trip to make me realize how lucky I am!!

Time to Think

I knew I was due for a good cry. Need one every so often. Probably why I don't like to stop and slow down. Probably why I keep so busy and just keep going. Then I don't have time to think, just to do. Maybe it's the Holidays too. Celebrating Jesus, friends, family....brings up memories of those we've lost. Probably doesn't help that I finally finished the book "Glimpses of Heaven" ...that I had been putting off for so long b/c I knew it would be hard. And it was hard. Good in parts - there were some nice stories in it...but still...brings up questions. It talks about what people say and do as they are dying. Grace didn't do those things. She was so young and couldn't say much...did she know what was happening? Did she feel loved and safe? Did she know we didn't want her to go? Was she welcomed into heaven and feel loved and safe there? Did she see the Angels come to get her? And if there really is reason and purpose for every persons life...why was her's so short? Did we really learn everything we were supposed to from her? Did we learn the lessons from her and her death that God wanted us to? I know we are different people now than we were before her. I know we have changed. And I know we loved her more than I thought possible. And I know as weird as it sounds, if she hadn't passed away we wouldn't have Camden. We would have a child, but not Camden...We have learned and done many things we never would have without her. Made friends we would never have met. But does that make the trade off worth it? Or any easier? And then...we have it so good compared to so many. So many have lost more than us...so why can't I accept that and be thankful for what we had and have. I shouldn't be upset because life is good. So many things I just don't understand. And I know we're not supposed to understand it all. It sure would be a lot easier if we did though. IF we had some of the answers. If Grace could have told us she knew...she knew what was going on...she knew she was loved...she knew she would be safe in Heaven. I do feel safer with her watching down over me...but wish I was watching over her like a mother should...

Camden's 2!

All Saints Day. And Camden's birthday. Coincidence? I don't think so. It's hard to believe he's already 2. Really hard to believe! But I do think it's very special that his birthday is All Saints Day. The day we celebrate and remember those that have gone on before us. Those that we love and love us. I think it was all in God's and Grace's plan. All the puzzle pieces...Camden shouldn't have been born...there was no medical, scientific, mathematical reason he worked. But he was 1 of 3 embryos transferred on Grace's 3rd birthday, March 3rd. And then born on All Saints Day. Yes, I think it is all connected and meant to be.

And boy are we thankful. He is the most amazing and wonderful little boy in the world!!!! He is so smart and so happy. Quite the ham! He can make anyone smile any time. Talk about lighting up a room. I can't believe how much he has grown and changed in 2 years. I really need to start writing more and getting all his stories down. He definitely keeps us going and full of life.

I had hoped to post some fun stories of him but my mind hasn't caught up with the time change. I will have to share some later. But I did want to make sure and wish him a wonderful 2nd birthday and how blessed we are to have him in our lives!!!

Achey Breaky Heart

Not sure why it has to hurt. But it does. I miss my girl. I love her so much. She's been gone longer than she was here but it hasn't helped the pain. Camden keeps us busy..worn out most of the time. He's wonderful and I love him so much. But nothing can replace my girl or fill the hole in my heart. I love you Grace Dyan!!!!

Camden is a hoot. We just took a weekend trip up to Oklahoma. He was in his full terrible twos mode. He did pretty well considering how much we were in the car, how hot it was, and how much we did. I have to give him credit for those. But it was definitely a "driving adventure" ;)
He's a hoot. I forgot all the stories I was going to share. Perhaps another time.

Hook Em!

Movin on up

They are starting to transition Camden up to the next age group at school. He is doing so well! I know it's an age thing too, but he really is very bright. Keven has taught him that whenever he is given change he runs into our bedroom to the change jar and put it in. Very sweet. I turned my back on him the other day and when I turned back around he was sitting in his high chair - got up there all by himself. It didn't have the tray in it so he climed on up. The high chair has since been packed away. So then we have one of those booster seats that is strapped to our dining room chair. He climbed up in that one too! But the best part of it was that he was trying to buckle the lap belt around himself. Too cute!!! He helps the teacher at school sometimes because he does so well at listening and following directions. When he wants too. He definitely has selective hearing here at home. He still loves to dance any time he hears music. Yesterday he was singing to himself. That was the cutest and something new. He was just playing and singing his own little song. He likes to help me with the laundary - as long as it's not anything of his. I have to wash his clothes, blankets and bibs when he isn't home or is asleep. He recognizes Grace in pictures, very sweet. He says her name and tilts his head when he sees her. Of course it's not really her name but it's the same sound every time. Later this month we head to Oklahoma for a fundraiser with some friends. One of their sons has SMA Type I. We went last year and had a good time. Staying longer this time so we are excited. We are also driving this time...and hoping Camden will handle it alright. He doesn't like being in the car much - he can't move! We're taking a DVD but he's not big on TV. Something else that I am very thankful for. We went to cousin Giuliano's birthday party a couple of weeks ago. Big boys, lots of food and cake, and a swimming pool. Camden had a blast!

Til next time...take care!

Almost Half Way

JUNE! I can't believe the year is almost half way over. And that I haven't posted anything on here in almost 3 months.


First topic is of course Camden, who continues to amaze us daily. His speech is improving since having the tubes put in his ears. He is making a lot more sounds and trying new words. There was a plug in one of his tubes at his follow up but tests showed it wasn't hurting his hearing. We go back next week for a follow up and see if we got that plug out. He is still pulling at his ears some so hopefully everything will check out well next week.


Smiles start and end Camden's day. Besides his sister, he is the happiest child I have ever seen. He really only gets cranky when he's tired - or wants something his way. I can't imagine where he gets that from ;) He is non stop fun and laughter all day. If he has a car or a ball he is ready to go. Although, he usually prefers to have 1 in each hand, and even more if he can juggle it. Good thing Boots is one of his nicknames because he is definitely quite the monkey. Nothing stops him. Whether he is climbing up, over, under, between...it doesn't slow him down. When I was pregnant with him we would joke about how much he moved and that he was going to move enough to make up for all the moving Grace couldn't do. He is certainly living up to that as he doesn't stop from the time he gets up until he goes to bed. And we are loving, exhaustedly, every minute of it!


Of course he's almost 2 so he has learned the word NO! He especially likes to use it when talking to the cat and dog. He is too funny! Still love the way he dances and he is discovering how to walk backwards. We recently got him a potty and are starting to introduce him to it and the idea of potty training. So far we've had results without the potty...on the driveway and the bathroom floor :) An even funnier story though...he got into one of those little tykes cars...he was turning the wheel and acting like he was driving...then he stopped, opened the door, leaned over and spit, then shut the door and started driving again. It was HILARIOUS!!! Think someones been watching daddy very closely.

He made his first trip to Sea World and had a blast! Can't wait to go back! Also the first trip to San Antonio zoo. It was hot and a lot of the animals were sleeping, but he seemed to have fun.

I could go on for days about him - so smart, cute, funny, sweet...oh and he loves to help clean up! Looks for trash just so he can throw it away. Likes to wipe the table when he's done eating. Oh and speaking of eating...he chooses fruit over french fries - this has been the only indicator that he might not be mine :) The do it myself attitude, the high frustration level, the love of sweets - those are all me to a T - but fruit before french fries? I just don't understand!


I was going to talk about Keven and I some too but as this has gotten pretty long so I'll skip us for today. We are well though - I have finished my 1st year back at teaching and Keven has started his 2 summer classes at school. Have a hot and happy summer!

In Like a Lion

Is it March that's supposed to come in like a Lion? If not, well...it sure has been a whirlwind!

Camden had eartubes put in and his adenoids taken out on March 2nd. He was quite the trooper. It was so sad to see him crying so much! You know, that heartbreaking cry where there is just nothing you can do to make them stop. Poor kiddo. I did take 1 picture of him in the hospital bed...I figure he needed 1 since Grace has so many. He is such a nut!! He has learned to dance - or as we call it - happy feet - and to turn in circles. He will make faces and laugh for no apparent reason. He can make anyone smile! It's wonderful watching him learn and grow and explore. I love it!

Then March 3rd would have been Grace's 5th birthday! Keven had class that evening so I convinced some family, and extended family, to go out to the Oasis and honor her at sunset and send her some balloons. It was perfect. Perfect weather. Perfect company. Everything except that Grace wasn't there! That and on her cake they wrote Happy Birthday Angela Grace - instead of Angel Grace. Maegan has better photos on her blog than mine. Hard to believe she would be 5 - and starting kindergarten this fall! We miss her dearly, love her dearly and are thankful for the time we had with her.

March 6th I went to the dentist for the first time in over a year. That's not a big deal except I really liked the dentist. He was very nice, personable, and even sent a thank you note for joining the practice. The massaging dental chair and TV over the chair didn't hurt.

Then a full weekend and we're into week 2 of March. Man time is flying!! Next week is spring break though and for that I'm glad :)